Monday, August 13, 2007

Mommy Monday: Separation Anxiety

Mine. Not hers.

We were apart for 10 hours today. The longest we've been away from each other since she was born. The rest of this week promises to be equally long.

I hate it. I saw her for an hour this morning as I rushed around getting her ready for daycare and me (semi-)ready for work. And then this evening, 20 minutes after I got home, it was time to start the bath and bed routine. All told, I got something on the order of 2 hours with her today, and much of it was distinctly not quality time.

I'm not gonna give up co-sleeping anytime soon. I need my baby. And she needs me.


Zuska said...

Ah, I'm sorry...but I guess it was to be expected at some point. I hope after you get into more of a routine at work you will be able to create a better routine of time with her.

I just wanna say, though, how much your love for your baby comes through in this post. It is very touching, to me.

Kate said...

I'm sorry it's so hard to be away from your baby for so long -- I'm pregnant so I get to be with mine all the time. I can't imagine what it will be like when I will have to put him/her in daycare sometimes! You're a wonderful mom.

I would love to hear how co-sleeping is going for you -- how exactly you do it, whether you use a co-sleeper, whether the baby sleeps between you two, etc. I intend to co-sleep with my baby, but have found very little in the way of resource, and have a family that's resistant to it (you'll smother her! you'll teach her she can have whatever she wants! and all that bullshit).

Anyway, would love, if you ever get the chance, a post on the topic... (and if you've already written one and I missed it, just direct me there :) ).

Julie said...

Is co-sleeping considered quality time?

Anonymous said...

Kate- if you google dr sears or attachment parenting, you'll find some good info on co-sleeping.

Julie- speeking for myself, co-sleeping is very much quality time... especially for a mom and baby who are breastfeeding and apart during the day. my daughter nursed 4 times last night and sleeps much better when right next to me. No, it is not the same as being with your baby all day, but it is quality time!

Sciencewoman- you're doing great! thanks for the honest look at parenting. It is not easy to balance everything, but you are doing your best. I know things will smooth out with time.

PhD Mom said...

I co-slept for almost a year...and it was wonderful. It is hard to leave, but as they get older I began to understand that each step that we make is not a step away, but a step toward a more mature relationship with each other.

Anonymous said...

Sciencewoman--thank you so much for your regular posts from your new city. I can't imagine being away from your sweet Minnow for so long..I doubt that it will ever get 'easy', especially while she's so small. Hang in there...your instincts are obviously good & you have a great relationship with your daughter. Can you schedule 'Minnow time' into your work week? Keep us posted with how you manage all this. We're rooting for you & learning from your adventures. Much love, - Goat Mama

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear you are missing Minnow time. I certainly can sympathize. Ds and I benefited a lot when we found ways to have Dh bring Ds to me to nurse on campus Ds and I could connect for a little while and I can put in a longer day on campus.

As a nursing mom and PhD student I have to say co-sleeping has been wonderful for all of us (Dh, Ds and I). Ds does not do well when I am away for long periods of time, which of course doesn't mesh well with an academic's schedule, and its nice to have that close connection.

trillwing said...


I still feel this way about Lucas, even though he'll be 2 (!!!) in a couple of weeks. Every time I think he can't get cuter or sweeter, he does. Damn babies and toddlers! ;)

ScienceMama said...

I know it's hard, but you're doing great! I just went back to work as well after a glorious 90 days of maternity leave with my little girl. It's hard on the weekdays because I only get about 2 hours with my baby before it's time for bed, too. It just makes me that much more eager for the weekends!!