The scenario: There is a heterosexual couple composed of StuDent and PartNer. StuDent is finishing his/her PhD and has a choice between a post-doc 2.5 hours from Utopia and a tenure-track position 10 hours from Utopia. StuDent has been dating PartNer seriously for just over a year, having met on a blind date. PartNer moved to Utopia just prior to the commencement of dating, having made it a personal goal to find a job in her/his somewhat specialized field in the Utopia area. StuDent is professionally inclined toward the tenure-track job (job security, interest match), but PartNer does not want to move. It's not that the location of StuDent's tenure-track offer is awful, PartNer just worked really hard to get to Utopia and does not want move anywhere, no matter how cool. If StuDent takes the post-doc, he/she could visit PartNer on weekends, but would have to go through another job hunt. StuDent has family ties to the Utopia area, and her/his field is in demand, but there are no guarantees with a job search.
The Question: Is StuDent or PartNer the man? Why do you think so? How might the situation be different if the genders were reversed? Is there a compromise solution where both people can be professionally and personally satisfied?
The Answer: I'll tell you tomorrow.