Tuesday, December 13, 2005

home again, home again...

I'm back now in the PNW - home to a messy house, another air stagnation advisory, a pile of contacts to follow up on, but best of all an excitable furry dog and a loving husband. I'm taking today off because I haven't had a day to myself for over two weeks, and I could use the relaxation time. But mostly I need time to switch gears, readjust to home life, and try to start figuring out how to get my husband out of his funk. I think my near total absence for 2 weeks ago and then my absolute absence for 8 days has allowed him to slide into the abyss. He's still jobless, has gotten a few official rejections now, his grandfather is in the hospital in Midwest and hasn't got long to live, and my mom is coming to visit for Christmas. He says he hasn't been sleeping, he's been irritiable with the dog, and did I mention that the house is basically a disaster?

So last night he drove to the big city to pick me up at the airport and we talked seriously for a while on the car ride home. And I'm worried about him. I wonder whether he's slipping into depression. And yes, I know that if he is depressed, he'll need professional help. But for the moment, I think I will see if I can get him moving a bit. I know that I always feel better if I've got something to do. So I roused him at ten, we ate breakfast together and straightened the Christmas tree. Then I caught up on email and bills while he watched TV. Around lunch time, his mom called with an update on his grandpa, he started cooking a pot roast, and we just came back from a big shopping trip. Now, I've ordered him out to fill out an application for a temp agency (his choice, not mine, I'm just imposing follow through). When he gets home, we'll make Chex mix (a Christmas favorite of his), decorate the tree, and maybe rent a movie for the evening. He loves The Santa Clause.

On a happier note, I got asked for letters of reccommendation for UWIRWTW.

1 comment:

Ms.PhD said...

I gotta say, I've been having an ongoing discussion with BotanicalGirl about handling her depression, and I've been where you are, too.

The fact is, I don't think professional help is required for every single case of depression. It's normal to be a little depressed while unemployed. If he's doing the application for the temp agency, he's doing ok. It will just take some time. Sure, keep an eye on him, make sure he's not thinking of anything drastic or harmful to himself or others, but depression can be a normal part of life, like when someone dies. Grief is normal, and I don't think it should be medicated or necessarily therapized away (or through). If he's stressing about an illness in the family, help him to deal with the stress of feeling powerless and far away. Don't blame him for feeling sad or overwhelmed.